Lorrylee (an extract*)

Lorry thinks he is just meeting Amy but when he gets to the pub on Brick Lane he finds Amy and lots of other people he doesn’t know. He is still damp. He smells damp. He smells like a wet dog. Lorry has smelt like wet dog a lot recently. Should have gone home and showered thinks Lorry. He sits next to a girl.

‘I’m Feather’ says the girl to Lorry.

‘I’m Lorry.’

Feather smiles a little but doesn’t say anything. Lorry asks Feather if she wants a drink.

‘No’ says Feather.

Lorry buys a whisky and coke and tries to flirt with the barmaid. The barmaid ignores him. When he gets back to the table everyone is talking. Lorry listens to the conversation for a long time without taking part. Lorry doesn’t know what they are talking about. Fashion or something. He drinks his whisky and coke and returns to the bar. There are three people working behind the bar. He positions himself near the barmaid that ignored him. She ignores him. A large man with a no hair and a plaited beard serves him. When he gets back to the table everyone is still talking about things that don’t interest Lorry. He tries to get Feather’s attention. Feather doesn’t notice. He goes to the toilet. There is a queue. Two men are having an argument about electronic music. One of the men turns to Lorry:

‘What do you think?’ he shouts.

‘I don’t know’ replies Lorry. The man stares at him. Lorry pulls his phone out of his pocket and types a message made up of fake words that he’ll delete as soon as the man turns away.

Anfja hefjskck z;a;a,la dlm skndk nsxnjs cjnkxm

Someone mentions wet dogs. The man turns away.

‘Where were you?’ Amy asks when he gets back to the table. This is the first thing she’s said to him.

‘I went to the toilet.’

‘D’you have a shit?’

Everyone looks at Lorry.

‘No. There was a queue.’

Everyone is still looking at Lorry.

‘I’m getting a drink’ says Lorry. ‘Does anyone want one?’

‘Yes’ says everyone but Feather.

Lorry says shit in his head and walks to the bar.

Lorry orders the drinks from a girl wearing a Frida Kahlo T-shirt. She looks unhappy. Her unhappiness makes Lorry feel a bit happier. Walking back to the table he spills half of his own drink on his own trainers. Lorry hands out the drinks. Someone says thank you. They all go back to their conversations. Someone has taken Lorry’s seat and is talking to Feather. She laughs a lot and rests her hand on his arm. Lorry drinks the rest of his drink and tells Amy he’s leaving. They make plans to meet again.

Lorry gets the Northern Line back to London Bridge. A gorilla is sitting across from him. The gorilla is dressed in grey trousers, brown shoes and a pink pinstriped shirt. He is eating a kebab and listening to Hot Chip on his phone. An old woman is staring at the gorilla. A long slice of doner meat spills to the floor. A grey squirrel appears from beneath the seat, grabs the meat and disappears again. The squirrel’s chewing can be heard over the music and the gorilla’s chewing. The squirrel burps. A piece of lettuce falls from the gorilla’s lap. The squirrel stays hidden. Lorry misses the last Jubilee Line east and has to walk four miles back to West Ham. After ten minutes of walking the batteries in his Discman die.

When he gets home two hours later Lorry finds a tree branch growing through the carpet in his bedroom. He wonders if the killer has been planting seeds in the floorboards, and watering them through the carpet. He tries pulling on the branch but it doesn’t move. He’s tired from the walking. Lorry goes to bed and dreams that the batteries in his toy gorilla die and the gorilla goes bald and shiny and his eyes fall out and a grey squirrel comes out from under the bed and eats the eyes before eating the gorilla and burping.

*Taken from page 15-17