windowless study XXXII

Somebody has stolen all of Mr Silt’s windows and replaced them with bricks.

windowless study XXXI

The jagged yellow forks arced across the sky at breakneck speed and headed straight for the upper section of Mr. Peru’s ill-prepared cranium. The tin-foil hat he had been wearing shot towards the heavens. When the firebolts were finished with Mr. Peru all that was left of him was an ashen outline embedded into the pavement like a shadow road-kill. The tin-foil hat was nowhere to be found.

windowless study XXX

One of his shoes was missing and the other had yellow laces. That’s all I can tell you.

drawing without people...

windowless study XXIX

A dog was pulling a man in a straight line. Neither of them fell and neither of them deviated from their course, the finality of which appeared to be Lakeman’s Bakery.

windowless study XXVIII

A man was beneath Mr Taylor’s window. A wire of some kind was strangling the life out of him, first from top to toe and then, for good measure, sideways too. His cries of etc and furthermore fell on deaf ears. He slumped playfully into aforementioned Mr Taylor’s doorway and slept for a series of empty days – or maybe it was just a few hours. When he awoke the doorway was smaller and his fingernails were missing.

windowless study XXVII

A teddy bear wrapped in tin foil hangs from the tree outside my window. The wind blows it this way and that. Nothing more.

windowless study XXVI

A pylon appeared in the street today, right outside Rutherford’s Meat Shop. Why a pylon is deemed necessary remains to be seen. There is no note attached. The cement at the base of the legs has dried.

drawing without people...

windowless study XXV

A sparrow began choking on some thin air before dropping like a bird-shaped stone into an unsuspecting shopping trolley.

windowless study XXIV

Today is Tuesday. This morning a dog began eating its own tail. Later, when the sun was high and dry, somebody stubbed their toe on a careless tree stump.

windowless study XXIII

The light turned on and off across the street for about a million hours. When it was off all that could be seen was darkness. When it was on all that could be seen was a light bulb in an empty room. It stopped at 5.25 this morning and since this time there has been no more activity.

windowless study XXII

the hailstones tore Mr. Rivera’s tomato plants to shreds

windowless study XXI

The man was wearing two red shoes. That´s the only thing I can say with any real conviction.

windowless study XX

An argument about _______________ involving the following words (the actual order of which differs from the one shown here).

lightbulbs

since when

tree

happened

however

piece of

trampled

hopefully

p.s. many other words were used. These were lost to the wind and to the sound of Mr Martinez trying to start his car

windowless study XIX

once again the moon was lazy last night.

drawing without people...

windowless study XVIII

The downpour washed everything down the drain, including the flake from a girl’s 99.

windowless study XVII

a boy, eating an everlasting gobstopper in the shade of the everlasting tree, was stung three times by three different bees

windowless study XVI

Someone shouted something about love and later, in an unrelated incident, an old woman sneezed.

windowless study XV

A dirty old dog broke free from the parade and began chewing on a brick.

drawing without people...

windowless study XIV

The shadow of a horse passed by my window, followed by nothing but dust.

windowless study XIII

I couldn´t find any suitable words to describe today´s happenings so...

windowless study XII

The cape-like duffle coat, attached to a little boy, flew up and down the street. The words ‘death to all!’ were shouted like a mantra. An old grey cat watched the proceedings before disappearing down a hole in the ground. And that’s all there is to say on the matter.

windowless study XI

First came the chicken-wire rabbit, closely followed by a breezeblock, an etch-a-sketch, a maternity dress and seventeen other things not worth mentioning here. They plummeted to the earth like claw sandwiches and gathered in a neat little pile on the eternal pavement, their near-lifeless bodies twitching ever-so-slightly in the day-old, chimneypot sunshine.

windowless study X

sparrows look down on the world with disapproving marble eyes, their toes stapled to the side of Lakeman’s Bakery (established in 1962)

drawing without people...

windowless study IX

lots and lots of bricks stacked up to the sky

windowless study VIII

some music, followed by a car, followed by fading of music, eventually followed by silence ……………… followed by the same music, followed by the same car, followed by fading of music, eventually followed by silence ……………… followed by the same music, followed by the same car, followed by fading of music, eventually followed by silence ……………… (etc. etc. for what seems like a very long time. During which there is no change in the order of events, or even in the choice of the song).

windowless study VII

“How did you get my number?..... Who’s Stu?..... I don’t know anyone named Stu.... No, don’t know him.....”

windowless study VI

a glove sitting on a pallet sitting on another pallet sitting on a paving stone sitting on some earth sitting on some worms sitting on……

drawing without people...

windowless study V

a cloud that looks like an astronaut followed by one that looks like a cloud

the wishing well

windowless study IV

a conversation about a conversation about a conversation about a black eye.

windowless study III

a boy stares at a river. the river stares back without blinking.

windowless study II

a bee eating some dirt

a summer's day

STEVE: What did you say?

STAN : I said nothing.

STEVE: Why did you say that?

STAN : No reason.

STEVE: If you've nothing to say, say nothing.

STAN : Nothing.

STEVE: There you go again. What did I just tell you?

STAN : To say nothing.

STEVE: That's right. To say nothing.

STAN : And?

STEVE: And nothing. What did you say?

STAN : Nothing.

STEVE: Nothing. Exactly.

STAN : And?

STEVE: And nothing.

STAN : Nothing what?

STEVE: What?

STAN : Nothing.

STEVE: There you go again. What did I just tell you?

STAN : Nothing.

STEVE: You said nothing. Not me.

STAN : What?

STEVE: Nothing.

STAN : How is it that I can't say nothing but you can go around

squawking nothing till the cows come home.

STEVE: I didn't.

STAN : Didn't what?

STEVE: Say it.

STAN : Say what?

STEVE: Nothing.

STAN : There you go again.

STEVE: If you keep telling me to say nothing, I'm going to say

nothing.

STAN : Go ahead, I dare you.

STEVE: You dare me?

STAN : Yep. In fact, I double dare you.

STEVE: Ha!

STAN : Just try it. Say nothing again and see what happens.

STEVE: See what happens? What's gonna happen?

STAN : You'll see.

STEVE: What will I see exactly?

STAN : You'll see.

STEVE: I'll see?

STAN : Yep.

STEVE: You're all talk - a big bag of hot air. I know exactly

what'll happen.

STAN : You do?

STEVE: Yep.

STAN : What?

STEVE: Nothing.

STAN : What?

STEVE: Nothing.

With that, Stan tore a leg from the table and hit Steve smack in the middle of his kisser, right on the money. Steve hit the deck like a sack of death and began convulsing and contorting on the floor like a computer suicide. Some blood escaped from Steve's mouth and gathered in a puddle-like fashion on the linoleum floor.

STAN : What was that?

STEVE: Nothing

Steve, being as dead as a doornail, continued to say nothing.

STAN : Goddamnit. There you go again. One more time, that's all I

ask.

STEVE: Nothing.

Stan finally lost his poor little mind and turned into a complete nut. He began chewing on the table leg. He was halfway through when a large splint of wood somehow found its way to his heart and finished him off good and proper. His death rattle was choked into nothingness by the wooden creature lodged in his gullet. Steve and Stan both lay there on the floor, one dripping blood, the other dripping wood. Nothing more could be done, so nothing more need be said.

windowless study I

the sun is upside down today.

steve before

watch this space

a picture of a bear fighting a squirrel borrowed from an unnamed source

[Image removed due to a breach of copyright laws]

a song heard on the radio in the supermarket that i can't really remember

(verse 1)

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la laalways la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

(verse 2)

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la laalways la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

(bridge)

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(chorus)

mmm mmm mmm hmmmm mmmmm ooooooooooooo

(verse 3)

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la laalways la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Tina la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

(chorus)

mmm mmm mmm hmmmm mmmmm oooooooooooo

mmm mmm mmm hmmmm mmmmm oooooooooooo

mmm mmm mmm hmmmm mmmmm oooooooooooo

mmm mmm mmm hmmmm mmmmm oooooooooooo

[repeat to fade – or maybe you already left the shop during the second, or even the first, verse].

a long and distant shadow

[story not conceived yet.]

little eyes

A pile of doors

I saw a pile of doors at the end of my street today. There was a red one, two wood-coloured ones and seven white ones. Where the hell did they come from?

pointless post

another week gone by and still nothing worth saying

The Second Middle Bit of a Love Story....or...Will this thing never end?

Okay. So our lead character is dead. Eaten by a shark. So we need a new lead. Suddenly a man possessing all of the qualities required for a lead in a story better than this one appears as if from nowhere on a boat fashioned from only sticks and bits of deer (but don’t worry, I’m pretty sure it’s not the deer from last week. Hopefully we’ll see him later in this epic adventure. If not, it’s a pretty safe bet that he was used for our protagonist’s marvellous vessel. So our hero, Martinsomebody, arrives like a Greek/Nordic legend combined. Well, that’s not completely true. (Sorry, I was thinking of spicing it up a little but I have to be true to the facts.) He actually arrives like a tiny man on a crap boat that actually sinks in the not-so-distant future – but don’t worry, our hero doesn’t drown. So anyway our hero, Mark or Stuart or whatever the hell his name is, reaches the Forest of Forgetfulness (a crap name I know but that’s what it’s called – true story). It’s not really a forest any more though as most of it is underwater. In fact, all that can be seen are a few treetop-like tufts of leafage protruding from the water like bad chest hair. So, Mark is floating along without a care in the world when his boat hits a tree, snaps in two, and begins to sink. By some rotten luck our hero’s shoelace becomes tangled around the larger half of what was once a boat and he sinks with the boat like a man tied to a sinking boat. On the way down he sees the trees underwater.

“What a beautiful forest!” he says, his trap instantly filling with water before he has chance to close it again.

A few seconds before he is due to lose consciousness (and die from drowning, which is the way he was originally supposed to go), he sees a man eating shark (the worst kind) swimming towards him through the trees. The shark looks menacing in a way only a man-eating shark can manage. Stuart doesn’t remember much after that as he’s dead, and in the Forest of Forgetfulness. And this is where our story ends unless someone else comes along to make a brief and truly pointless appearance…

No… Thought not. Okay. See you next week for the final part of this beautiful love story.

(“Where’s all the love?” I hear you ask. Well, don’t worry. As it’s the final part next week I’m pretty sure some love will show its face, unless the title is just a big lie and there isn’t any love, just lots of crap characters that die before we even have chance to memorise their names. Okay, so next week is all about the love.)

Such a Beautiful World

(Where in God’s name is this poem? I’ve searched high and low for this thing and not found it anywhere. I’m telling you, it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. If you see it please return it to me and I’ll give you a big fat reward like you wouldn’t believe. “What does it look like?” I hear you ask. Well, the title ‘Such a Beautiful World’ is in Courier New (14pt I think) and the rest of the text Courier New again - 12pt if I’m not mistaken (10pt is just too goddamn small for my tiny peepers). It consists of 27 stanzas (each one 17.5 metrical feet) with strophes and ghazals all over the place. For anyone new to poetry I apologise for using such jargon. If you (my simple friend) do find a poem you’ll know it’s mine because when you read it you’ll cry tears the size of tear-sized grapefruits. Did I tell you that it’s the best thing I’ve ever written? I could’ve sworn it was in that bloody drawer but no. I think some thievery has taken place this day. Help me please, I’ll never write anything half as good as this again. What a poem! I’m telling you.)

(End of message.)